It’s that time of year again when lots of us make plans and resolutions for the year ahead.
How many times have you made New Year resolutions and then not kept them?
It’s not always easy….unless you know the process for making change happen. Let me share the 7-step approach that we use to at Behaviour Works to make change happen.
Creating something new requires you do something different and requires a change in behaviour.
How I kept my New Year Resolution
A few years ago, I felt that I was drifting through life with my eyes closed. I rushed from one task to the next without really seeing what was going on around me.
I felt as if I was missing paying attention to the simple pleasures that were in front of me every day.
I really didn’t want to wake up and open my eyes in 10 years and have no memory of the numerous little moments that gave me joy.
I knew I had to change my behaviour and do something different.
Using Behaviour Works 7-step Whale approach I discovered that the two obvious behaviour change options to make me feel more connected were to write a daily journal or photograph my day – I opted for committing to taking a photograph a day.
Every day for one year I took a photograph with my phone where ever I was, whatever I was doing, paying attention to the moments, the places, the tastes, the light and the colours that gave me joy.
To begin with my photos were pretty rubbish but over time (and with the help of the filters) my photography skills improved. I opened my eyes and my mind and captured 365 photos that even today I can look at (without referring to the description) and I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. Committing to doing it daily kept me accountable and my friends and colleagues frequently suggested photographs I could take. “That would make a good photo of the day” became my mantra.
Several years down the line and I still feel more connected to my day and what is going on around me and I still take photos that help me capture the numerous little moments that give me joy.
To make long-term change happen you need a use process. Let me share with you the 7-steps that we use at Behaviour Works.
7 steps for making and keeping resolutions
Step 1 - Clarify your why
It’s one thing to know what you want to change, it’s another thing to know why it’s important for you to change it. The challenge that keeps most people from staying consistent and disciplined with making the necessary actions to change things in their life is that they haven’t identified the reason that’s strong enough to mobilise change.
Change needs to have a clear and valid reason. Liking things to change isn’t enough to make it happen.
You need to feel truly dedicated to the change. You must really desire and need it so badly.
Without this deep need for change that’s important to you it will be too easy to settle into complacency with how things currently are.
As humans we are very driven by trying to avoid painful situations – we naturally try to avoid loss. You can use this as a driving force to keep you on track and consistent to make the change happen that you want in your life.
Imagine what’s the worst that could happen if things remained how they are now.
What will you lose if a year from now, two years, five years, ten years from now if things get worse or stay the same. How painful would that be and how would that make you feel?
Step 2 – Work out your wishes
What’s on your wish list for 2020? Allow yourself to dream big and think about:
What you want to do?
What you want to have?
What you would want to do more of (or even start doing)?
What you would do if no-one would laugh at you and you had all the time and money in the world?
Now choose your one top achievable and realistic wish to focus on for 2020. Setting a top wish creates immediate change as it means you are taking control of this aspect of your life.
Step 3 – Focus on behaviours to change
Think about what you could do differently to make your 2020 wish happen.
Ask yourself what are all the behaviours I could do to make that wish happen?
Write a specific positive statement for each one with phrases like ‘I will’, ‘I have’, or ‘I am’, use a ‘doing’ word and include a timescale and measurable criteria.
The best way to think about wording these is to think ‘if someone else was watching me what would they say I was doing’?
Step 4 – Pick one big impact behaviour
Pick only one of those desired behaviours to work on.
Choose the behaviour that will have the biggest impact for you for the least amount of effort.
Aim for quality, not quantity and change will come from one well thought through behaviour change. Don’t be tempted to work on all of them or most of them at once as that is much less likely to work and will frustrate you into inaction. Once you are successful with one change it will give you the confidence to tackle others. The important thing is to pick one to work on going forward.
Step 5 – Commit to change
Now you can start moving into action by identifying who can help you, what you are going to do, where you are going to do it, when and how often are you going to do it?
Step 6 – Understand what needs to change
Ask yourself these questions:
Do I have the necessary knowledge to do the behaviour?
Do I have the necessary skills to do the behaviour?
Do I believe that I can do the behaviour?
Do I feel motivated to do the behaviour?
Do I have the resources I need to do the behaviour (e.g. time, money, space)?
Do I have the support I need from other people to do the behaviour?
Step 7 – Take action
It is important to pick actions that are relevant to you and what you want to change. Simply copying what someone else has done or is doing isn’t necessarily going work for you in the long term. Aim to use as many different actions as possible and to use them long enough to have an effect.
We are more likely to change things if we track our behaviour because we are giving our attention to it.
Tracking provides you with feedback about if you are successfully making the change happen, it lets you watch your progress, keeps you accountable, increases your commitment, gives you evidence for giving yourself credit for your achievements and giving yourself a treat.
Successful change is a long-term process and not a single event – it’s about progress not perfection. Remember to always keep the ‘why’ at the fore front of your mind.
If this article has resonated with you but you don’t know where to start click the button below to view the Step 1 ‘clarify’ video of the Making Change Happen programme for free. Make this year the one that you keep your resolutions and make your wishes come true.
Our ‘Making Change Happen’ programme can help you to achieve the change you want in your life in 2020. Share your 2020 resolutions with us by commenting below or on our Facebook page.
Best wishes for 2020,
Eleanor
Behaviour Works aim is simple. To help make change happen in your personal, family or working life. Every week we help people across the world with their own change journey with our online training. Check us out at Behaviour Works.
